How I Approach Weightloss for Women

In the world of weight loss, modern women are often told that calorie counting is the golden rule. “Calories in, calories out” is the mantra, promoted by countless nutritionists, dieticians, and health coaches. While this approach may work for men, I firmly believe it’s unsuitable—and even harmful—for women.

I never embraced calorie counting myself, as it reduces food to mere numbers, stripping away its emotional, cultural, and energetic essence. Eating is not just a physical act for humans; it’s an emotional one, especially for women whose hormonal cycles influence their hunger, cravings, and energy levels. Women’s bodies are dynamic and constantly changing throughout the four phases of their cycle.

We move through four distinct phases in our cycle. In the follicular phase (the week post-bleed) and ovulation, rising estrogen makes us feel more energetic and less hungry. During this time, we’re naturally inclined toward lighter, fresher foods and movement. On the other hand, in the luteal phase (post-ovulation to just before menstruation), progesterone increases our appetite, and our bodies need roughly 350 extra calories daily. This phase also brings heightened emotions, which can trigger cravings or emotional eating.

Calorie counting ignores these natural fluctuations, often leading women to feel shame or guilt when their needs deviate from the “perfect” plan. This rigidity can exacerbate disordered eating symptoms, which research shows are already prevalent in most women.

Even if you try to adjust your calorie intake for each phase, reducing food to numbers disconnects you from its energetic and emotional components. Food isn’t just fuel—it carries an energetic vibration that influences how we feel. For example, in the follicular phase, your body might crave fresh fruits or salads because your digestive system is stronger and aligned with lighter foods. By contrast, the luteal phase might call for grounding, warming meals like soups or roasted vegetables.

When we listen to our body’s cues instead of external rules, we reconnect with its innate wisdom. This is why intuitive eating—tuning into hunger and fullness signals—is far more effective and sustainable than calorie counting. While this approach might take practice, especially if you’ve been dieting for years, it fosters a deeper connection to your body and builds trust in its needs.

Weight loss isn’t as simple as calories in versus calories out. Dr. Fatima Cody Stanford, an obesity specialist at Harvard Medical School, explains that how your body processes calories depends on factors like the type of food you eat, your metabolism, and even your gut microbiome. Two people can consume the exact same number of calories and have entirely different outcomes in terms of weight.

Rather than rigid calorie counting, focusing on overall healthy habits is a more empowering approach to weight management. Here’s how:

Before addressing food, I like to start with stress management. Stress disrupts women’s hormonal cycles and often leads to emotional eating or cravings for sugar, salt, or processed foods. Chronic stress increases cortisol levels, which pushes the body into survival mode. In this state, your body seeks comfort, often in the form of binge eating or reaching for unhealthy foods.

The key is to make your body feel safe. Practices like grounding, deep breathing, or even simple rituals such as drinking tea mindfully can calm your nervous system. Movement practices like yin yoga, gentle flow yoga, dancing, or even painting can help reduce cortisol levels without adding more stress to your system. If you’re going through a stressful period, avoid stress-inducing activities like intense strength training or cold plunges and prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Sleep is a cornerstone of weight management, especially for women. Research shows women need at least 8–10 hours of sleep, with increased needs during the luteal and menstrual phases. Lack of sleep disrupts hunger hormones like ghrelin (which stimulates appetite) and leptin (which signals fullness).

Chronic sleep deprivation also spikes cortisol levels, compounding cravings for high-calorie, processed foods. Prioritizing quality sleep supports not only weight management but also emotional balance and overall well-being.

While calorie counting focuses purely on numbers, paying attention to macronutrients—protein, fat, carbohydrates, and fiber—is a more balanced and effective approach to weight management. Each macronutrient plays a unique role in your body:

• Protein: Supports muscle repair, keeps you satiated, and stabilizes blood sugar levels.
• Fats: Provide energy, support hormone production, and are essential for brain health.
• Carbohydrates: Fuel your body, especially for physical activity and brain function.
• Fiber: Aids digestion, stabilizes blood sugar, and keeps you full for longer.

How to Calculate Your Macronutrient Needs

Your macronutrient needs depend on factors like your age, weight, activity level, and health goals. Here’s a simple guideline for starting:

Calculate your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE): Use an online calculator that factors in your basal metabolic rate (BMR) and activity level.

Set your macro ratios:
For balanced weight management:Protein: 1.2–1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight
Fats: 20–35% of total calories
Carbohydrates: 40–50% of total calories

Example:

For a 65 kg woman with moderate activity:

• Protein: 65 kg × 1.4 g = ~91 g of protein/day
• Fats: 25% of a 2,000-calorie diet = ~55 g of fat/day
• Carbohydrates: 45% of a 2,000-calorie diet = ~225 g of carbs/day

Start by incorporating whole foods into your meals to meet these macros:

• Protein: Eggs, lean meats, lentils, beans, tofu, or Greek yogurt
• Fats: Avocados, nuts, seeds, olive oil, or fatty fish
• Carbohydrates: Sweet potatoes, quinoa, oats, or fruits
• Fiber: Vegetables, legumes, whole grains, or chia seeds

Tracking macronutrients initially (with apps like Cronometer or MyFitnessPal) can help you understand your intake, but the goal is to transition toward intuitive eating as you learn what works for your body.

The quality of the food you eat matters as much as the quantity. A 2019 study revealed that people who ate more processed foods experienced increased cravings compared to those who ate whole, unprocessed foods.

Your gut microbiome thrives on natural ingredients like fresh vegetables, fruits, legumes, and whole grains. A diverse and healthy gut microbiome strengthens your digestive system, which is crucial for absorbing nutrients, eliminating toxins, and even processing emotions. A happy gut leads to better mental and physical health.

Exercise isn’t just about structured workouts. Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT)—the calories you burn through daily movements like walking, cleaning, or gardening—plays a significant role in weight management. Adding more movement into your day, such as taking the stairs, walking while on phone calls, or even stretching while watching TV, can significantly increase your calorie burn without overwhelming your body.

Additionally, the thermic effect of food (TEF) refers to the energy your body uses to digest and metabolize food. Eating nutrient-dense, whole foods (which require more effort to break down) naturally increases TEF and supports your metabolism.

When it comes to intentional exercise, choose activities that feel good for your body and align with your cycle. For example, during the follicular and ovulatory phases, you might feel energized and ready for strength training or cardio. In the luteal phase (post ovulation) you can lower the intensity of strength training workouts and add in gentler activities like yoga, or Pilates while during the menstrual phase, walking, stretching, yin yoga or just rest can be more supportive. Listening to the body through the different phases and supporting the body with the right movement type helps manage stress much better.

Weight loss for women is far more nuanced than the outdated “calories in, calories out” rule. By tuning into your body’s natural rhythms, reducing stress, prioritizing sleep, choosing whole foods, measuring macronutrients, and incorporating mindful movement, you can create a sustainable, holistic approach to health.

Remember, your body is your greatest ally. When you learn to listen to it, you’ll discover a wisdom that no calorie-counting app can replicate.